Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe
Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
Anxiety
Initially it’s important to learn how to manage the distress caused by anxiety. Transformation of anxiety can happen when we understand how it is functioning. When we approach our experiences with kindness and curiosity instead of solely trying to eliminate them, we can start to understand the role anxiety plays and that it is simply trying to serve us. Although fear and anxiety can be distressing emotions, the more we fear them, the stronger they become. Self-judgments like 'I should be able to manage this' only exacerbate the situation. No one would willingly choose anxiety if it were that simple. By embracing a curious and compassionate mindset, we can change the way we relate to it and therefore alleviate anxiety's impact on our lives.
Help us to be the always hopeful gardeners of the spirit, who know that without darkness nothing comes to birth, as without light nothing flowers.
May Sarton, Journal of a solitude
Depression
When we are stuck in depression we get caught in a natural inertia and an overwhelming desire to withdraw from the world. We don’t consider that depression may also be a coping mechanism—an attempt to shield ourselves from the immense challenges and burdens we face. Being honest with ourselves about our struggle and to see that we are all doing the best we can, enables us to take a more compassionate view of ourselves. Depression then becomes an experience we are having rather than who we are. By building inner resources, recognising and encouraging our inner strengths, and exploring the root causes of depression, we can foster self-acceptance, self-compassion, and even start to rediscover happiness and joy in life.
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The paradox of trauma is that it has both the power to destroy and the power to transform and resurrect.
Peter Levine (author of Waking the Tiger)
Trauma
People often think of trauma as big, dramatic and life changing events but overlook the importance of everyday, micro traumas that over time add up into something that has a huge impact on
how we are in the world now.
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Trauma is ultimately about disconnection - with the world and with ourselves. It is a natural response to the situation to be shut down or over-vigilant to stay feeling safe. Although these strategies were subconsciously developed to help us cope initially they really don’t work long term and can lead to exhaustion and often isolation. This reinforces the idea that safety and comfort are hard won. By understanding what triggers a trauma reaction and by gently releasing some of the negative ideas we have about ourselves that reinforce the trauma, we start to confidently be in the world and move positively forward.
So, to prevent fatigue and worry, the first rule is : Rest often. Rest before you get tired.
Dale Carnegie
Fatigue & Exhaustion
To rest seems to be such a simple thing to do, yet in practice we seem to find it impossible to attain. Giving ourselves permission to rest can trigger feelings of guilt and unease for many, and achieving a state of physical rest can be harder than it seems - you can’t make your body rest. By uncovering some of the beliefs that hold us prisoner, like the need to work hard, be strong, be nice to everyone, do everything perfectly, we start to listen more deeply to the wisdom of our body. Being aware can sometimes be difficult if your inner experience is of pain. Learning how to redirect attention using techniques such as mindfulness meditation can help us not to get overwhelmed in unpleasant feeling. When we reconnect with our body we start to uncover and release some of the thoughts, beliefs and feelings that get in the way allowing a natural state of rest.
The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.
Anna Quindlen
Food & Weight
We want to, but trying to eat healthily can become a stressful struggle. We forget that our relationship with food is more complex than simple nutrition. The urge to eat is very powerful, it’s grounded in our survival instinct so we can’t outwit it. So trying to control by will power alone doesn’t work. Our relationship with food also has an emotional component. Comfort is important too and when we deny ourselves food it feels like not getting our basic needs met and so can trigger a counter reaction which escalates the problem.
They key is to learn how to tune in to our body for hunger, to listen to our heart for our comfort needs and to let go of all that self judgement. Bringing a calm, kind-but-firm way of responding to our needs for food which brings back balance and even
enjoyment to eating.
All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well. For there is a force of love moving through the universe that holds us fast and will never let us go.
Julian of Norwich
Self Enquiry
Many people describe a feeling of disconnection or of life feeling empty of meaning. You may not feel that there is anything specifically wrong but are wondering ‘is there more to life ?’ Maybe it’s the question ‘is there more to me than this ?’ Self enquiry focuses on our immediate experience and it is ultimately a solitary activity but when we come across areas of stuckness or deeper difficult material it can be very helpful to have an experienced guide to offer support. If you are someone who is drawn to deeper exploration of your unlocked potential and want to explore more but with a guide. I can walk this journey with you.